I Found Myself…Literally
I found myself…literally.
Although, if the tiny NSW town of Megan is any kind of representation of me, I’m doomed.
Of course, there were a few farms, vibrant red hot poker flowers and the lovely sounds of bellbirds.
But then again…
Run-down, old, forgotten, signs of what was, hard to find because it’s so small – so small it probably isn’t worth a name.
And we’re talking small as in:
Home to 5 people (Google claims there is 150 people, but unless those 150 people can cram into 3 houses…)
You drive in, drive past several houses, and—oh! You’re driving out again.
Yep. That’s how small Megan is.
It’s hardly worth mentioning, except, well, my name is Megan, and I couldn’t resist a photo next to the sign. But there was also something else I wanted to see.
A run-down, forgotten railway station. I’d seen pictures of it on Google, but I was starting to doubt those as well.
Where does one find an old railway station in a tiny town? Does one simply drive down a dirt road, open a few gates and walk through waist-high grass?
Apparently.
But first, one must get advice from one of the 5/150 locals. Three options:
1. The run-down house with paint peeling and windows boarded up.
2. The house with 5 cars parked out front (it was New Year’s Day…)
3. The other house.
The other house.
But of course, every good farmhouse has dogs. And I do not like dogs. The ones that don’t stop barking, jumping, licking…biting. It was kind of hard to listen to the local’s instructions of where to find the railway station while the dogs were attempting to gnaw off my hand.
So there we were. Standing in waist-high grass, avoiding red mud and brambles, wiping away droplets of rain, and following rusty train tracks.
There was a goal – I wasn’t just wandering aimlessly around snake country.
On Google, there were pictures of another Megan sign next to the platform. Kudos to those photographers, because—spoiler—I never got there.
After coating my shoes and legs and brand-new white shirt in dots of red mud, I finally saw something of interest.
A train carriage, and a…yeah, I don’t know what it was because I’m not a train expert and it’s been almost a decade since I’ve watched Thomas the Tank Engine. The carriage was amazing, though.
It was really run-down. More than the farmhouse. Paint was peeling away, doors were missing, boards were stacked precariously on top of each other, and the floor would surely give way if I stepped inside the carriage.
Oh, and we also saw two red-belly black snakes. I wasn’t lying when I said we were in snake country. And I don’t like snakes either.
Dogs, snakes, what next? Cows and horses, apparently. Okay, so I didn’t actually see any, but I was on the constant lookout for them once I spotted hoofprints.
It was raining. There were snakes. There was mud. There was long grass. There was a brother who said ‘if you hadn’t had named her Megan we wouldn’t have to do this’.
We tried several paths, and saw something off in the distance, but eventually decided to turn back because we didn’t have any protection from snakes.
I didn’t reach my goal, but I will come back one day with gumboots and an old shirt.
Of course, I didn’t really find myself. I’m still trying to do that. It’s not easy.
Sometimes I have to try a new path, sometimes my heart beats too fast to count the rhythm, sometimes I feel like I’m drowning, sometimes I feel dirty, and sometimes I don’t think I can ever measure up to others.
I might complete my exploration of the Megan railway station one day. I just have to find a new path and the right equipment and build up my courage.
Oh yeah, and have the right people along the journey. Thank you to my mum, dad, and brother for coming on this adventure with me. (Note to brother - I could’ve done without the fake cow moos. You scared the life out of me.)
I believe to find the heart of who you are, you need courage, perseverance, flexibility, and a community (that includes Jesus!).
I’ll conquer you one day, Megan Railway Station.
“Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin and decay. But look for Christ, and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”
“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because He made us.”
